Beeswax

Embrace...

2008-10-23T09:08:00.000-07:00

As the apples drop
midst the leaves of brown...
where theres been some warmth
far beneath the ground...
when the pastures new
are all but gone...
I can see my love
in the light of dawn...
when the rich red berries
temp the birds to fill...
a feast they have
to enrich their will...
when the flowers sleep
in their dormant state...
I can see my love
I embrace my fate...
when the trees once full
bow their heads in wait...
in skeleton form
they anticipate..
when the winds reach land
hence to cleanse their souls...
and the autumn leaves
are no longer bold...
I can see my love
my dreams unfold...
when the rains comes forth
the soil drenched...
absorbs it's nectar
now fully quenched...
when the glistening frost
lays upon this land..
I can see my love
take hold my hand...
where the seasons go
I shall never know...
but there
you will find my love...
waiting eternaly.

2008-10-19T22:38:00.000-07:00

2008-08-30T21:35:00.000-07:00

2008-08-30T21:17:00.000-07:00

To fear love........

2008-08-30T15:07:00.000-07:00

"White Flag"

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
Or tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was there
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on....

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

dido..of course

Shaliko.......

2008-05-15T06:58:00.000-07:00

Second thoughts, to air one's dirty laundry is not appropriate reading on a blog, for this reason and on hindsight I have deleted my previous post....

Our neweset addition to our family, and what a little charmer he is too....
Amy and I are sharing a lovely horse named Shaliko a 16 year old Irish cob, he is stabled only minutes from my home and is such a darling, we have taken him on loan from the owner of the stables who can no longer ride or take care of him, although, we pay all the costs towards his stay there and with Amys vet nurse experience then we save on some costs of vet bill's which to be honest can be a major financial headache, so this is a great opportunity for Amy and I to spend some time together, although i seem to be the one mucking out all the time while she rides off in to the sunset..he has come just at the right time for me and i love it all dearly , the stables are situated in a heavenly part of Perth and is a pleasure to drive to , music playing and clear head, all just wonderful, added to that hte sheer joy of being outdoors is a great antidote for the blues..
I have not worked now for 8 weeks so nothing in the pipeline for summer ensemble of room settings will just have to head towards an Autumn one instead, that seems far enough away and achievable..
Amy is ongoing with her fertility treatment and seems to be high spirited in her outcome of all this heartbreak she has been going through, so fingers crossed...

Hannah has taken to sports with a great leap, she is enjoying all the benefits of heptathlon and cross country at school much to my amazement I may add , as her gearing towards the interest in boys seemed to be looming far before any such healthy, and i say that in the nicest possible way, as an interest in boys is very healthy but not to the detriment of her enjoying and sourcing other pastimes..lol..that can all come and no doubt will soon enough...
With the weddings looming ever closer the time has been spent well both girls are well on with there preparations and Louise and Amy have now decided on dresses , so for the time being I am no longer traipsing around wedding dress shops ..and very beautiful they are too, Louise is having one hand made to her choice of style and Amy has chosen a stunning dress which almost could have been made for her too..as for my outfit well, I'll just run in to Tesco's at the last minute....lol

my love to all of you ..Kath xx

Amy ...these are for you ......with love.

2008-05-07T06:26:00.000-07:00

21st Birthday Celebrations.....

2008-03-31T20:36:00.000-07:00

Yes.. it has arrived , my little girl has reached that age, the one where we would half expect to be mature and grown up, and yet still a child , with so much to learn ......
The preparations leading up to the party went well, too well actually, in fact I was beginning to wonder if I had missed something...you know that feeling somethings just not right!..well I had that for a couple of weeks prior to the party, just could not put my finger on it ...
Anyway the night went very well, and she danced the night away, well into the night in fact, it was 2am before we all packed up..the highlight to me was a special little song I requested ,just for her and no one else...it was One day ver the rainbow... this had been my nightly song to her since she was born , litle darling must be sick to death of it by now..but on it came , she asked me to dance and we held each other so tightly , as we danced to Eva Cassidy's version , which of course was not a round when she was born , but , is such a lovely version , and as the Dj had no other listed on his digital lap top ...hhmmm..it had to be so..and I was s o glad I had done it , this was my little girl now a lovely woman , she was holding her mummy and we were both hugging with tears in our eyes , a very special moment, one not ot forget...
It was then , after a couple of minutes reminiscing , that I realised we had an audience....well, i nearly dropped ..I am not one to be in the limelight, not my thing , so bearing in mind it was my daughters 21st Birthday , and it was ll family and friends , I thought to myself , oh what the heck , let it go , and I did , and it was good , good to let go the the anxieties of being on display...it was a very special moment indeed , an awakening for both of us I think.....
As the party drew to a close , I realised I would be the Taxi , again, didn't mind though , was a pleasure , for a change!!!
And it was at this time that I realised , to my horror, just exactly what had been niggling me for a couple of weeks....
NO CAKE......can u believe it , well , silly question really , you all know by now how my brain works:)..and here I was again in that familiar place of forgetfulness, it was quiet comforting actually , as i had said before , all had gone so smoothly prior to the party, and to be honest I ws beginning to wonder if i had turned a new corner in my life, remembering everything!!!!and if I'm really honest , i found myself just that little bit reassured that it wasn't...I know , it sounds strange but, who wants to be a remember it all type of person , not me !, no thanks ..to much responsibility on that one, I am more than happy to be in my own little world , forgetful and all..
Needless to say , and luckily, there was a 24 hour Tesco opened , so off went some friends to buy a cake, my daughter was non the wiser may I add, and there it was , the end to a perfect evening , blowing out her candles ,like a rose in bloom....she will always be my little one...no matter what age or how forgetful I may become , that is something that will never change, they are all still little in our minds and hearts .........just have to grow gracefully with them now....

Oh my , whats this!!..

2008-03-13T23:44:00.000-07:00

Oh yes , now I remember !!
this was my connection to outside world, my sanity , my not so sanity !! , my daily fix, a breath of fresh air without leaving the house, oh !! and not to forget , my link with many good friends , special friends, of whom I had abandoned but had not forgotten , oh no!!never forgotten ..
Wow , this feels good , just like slipping on those old comfortable shoes again , only this time they are staying on , and will be well and truly stuck to the ground, firmly!!!
Please accept my apologies for such a long break away , details of which are not suitable for this post!!!! Ah ha !!! caught your attention now have I ?....lol
joking aside , it has been an amazing journey I have been on of late, a rather life turning point , to say the least, not sure if I have benefited from it yet , but time will tell, no doubt !!!
I have been reading some posts in between my hectic lifestyle, and may I add at this point have been a great comfort to me , as reading your posts made me feel as close to normality as i could get !!! now , with that said, it is only left for me to say , thank you to you all for your sincere and comforting e-mails , you are some bunch of woman out there , as I have said before many many times ,but it is all true , and I am not ashamed to admit it either , you lighten up my days .....

I hope to be back to blogging as soon as possible , in fact what am I talking about !!! I am blogging !!..omg :) ..it has been along break, :(

don't think I will post up any photos on this one though , now that's a first !!, reason being I have moved them all in to folders !! and now have to search every darn one for the phot o I want , needlees to say , no!! i did not label them , now that's what I call progress!!lol should have just left them where they were, messy , all over the place , unnamed and 20 copies of the same ones , at least I could just grab one when I wanted it ...so will have to un do all my doing , if you see what I mean ...lol
Anyway , in the mean time here is a quick update on myself ,
1/ I have gained 11 pounds in weight ,
2/ Still smoking ... :(
3/Finished my dresser, and sold it too.. :)
4/Found more fine lines on my face, fine !! what the heck am I talking about !! they're massive , like rivers running through the google map, only mine are deeper, much deeper in fact!!
5/Discovered a way of regaining my youth ....!!!! ( no , I'm not sharing!!, so there !!..lol )
6/ Found a source for my own beeswax!!! great fun !
7/ Realisation of just exactly who to turn to in times of troubled moments in life ... Yes ! , it's all of you out there .... :)
8/ And finally have decided to take up tia chi and go back to college, stimulation of the brain is the best source of keeping young, so they say....

I do hope to comment on all of your posts in the following days to come , but will take a little time to read all of them first , just to fill in on the bits i missed out on , at least that way I can be sure of letting you all know I am still here .... :) and wishing and hoping to not have lost many good friends in the process of my lengthy break.... love and hugs .. Kath x

2008-02-01T18:50:00.000-08:00